Show Me The (Too Much?) Money!

The recent announcement about the UK's biggest lottery winner (just over £35m) put me in mind of a conversation I had about a year or so ago with some people about winning the lottery.

The story on everyone's lips at the time was the huge £100m+ jackpot in the Euromillions lottery. I even spent twenty quid on tickets for that one and I hardly ever play the lottery (but am in a pool at work).

Just about everyone involved in the conversation was saying that they would never want to win £100m - it's just too much money. They would be happy with one or two million, but that huge amount is just too much - they wouldn't know what to do with it.I think I shocked them all when I said I'd love to win £100m. They thought I was mad and even a bit greedy.

Well, I replied back and said I think them saying they would only want one or two million instead of one hundred million pounds was selfish. In part, if they didn't want to win that much money, why did they all buy tickets and reduce MY chances of winning the big prize?

Now putting aside all the arguments for and against national lotteries, the fact remains the potential for a huge life changing win, however small, is there for anyone who buys a ticket.

Now the reason I said I would love to win the £100m is simply because not only would it change my life for the better (and of course create other problems too), but I would be able to help so many other people with the money.

No one really needs £100m all to themselves to ensure they live a comfortable care free life. I know I don't. Ten million would do it for me, so that leaves 90 million for me to pay off family and friend's mortgages, pay for a fab first class holiday for everyone - Necker Island anyone?. Then there's all the charities you could help or maybe help fund scholarships for your old high school and univerisites.

There's just so much GOOD you could do with a huge pile of cash like that. Yes, I'll be honest and say I'd allow myself a million pounds from that 100 million and go mad. I mean, why the hell not? You only live once and money like that will never come around again, so enjoy it!

I've always wanted a huge house with a pool and cinema, bowling alley etc, and by gawd, I'd have it too...but with all those things, you can still only use them one at a time (well, maybe an underwater bowling alley!), so once the 'stuff' is out of the way, I'd go out and spread the wealth.

My job from that point would be ensuring the rest of the money is put to very good use to help others.

Once I explained all that to them they got the picture - mumbles of 'good idea' and 'oh, I never thought of it that way', and a 'jeez, that's too much work, just give me a few million and I'll be on my way'. Well, there's always one isn't there?

So the next time you or someone else thinks a lottery jackpot is just too much money to win, please think again....or I'm liable to give you a smack and take away your ticket.

Drop Kicked off the Blogroll!

Oh dear. It has been some time since my last post. I keep meaning to update it and then get distracted by looking at porn other things on the internet. Lately I've been spending too much time on Facebook. Yes, I've succumbed like many other people and am now poking, prodding, throwing sheep at and sending / replying to messages that start with 'remember me?'.

Mostly it's all in good fun....I know enough to limit my profile info to strangers, but you can't stop people from trying to add you as friends. I've had one or two send friend requests that I didn't like years ago when I had to be around them, so why would I want to be on-line friends with them now? I just click the ignore button - so much easier than telling them to fuck off really. Plus, I'm too polite to say something like that.

Looking at my last post, it was all about the stag night. Well, things moved on since then and I'm married! Woohoo! I keep planning to do a day by day blog for everyone who wanted to know what when on (and for my one memory too) - I even have all the notes right here beside my PC - *waves paper*. Still, I haven't done it, but it's written down.

For those of you who want the short / abridged / Coles Notes / Readers Digest version, here it goes.

Had the stag night - it was fab. Got the telly delivered a week before the wedding. It's beautiful (now have a new PC attached to it as well, so it's great for going through all our photos, music, and porn other stuff).

Got to Victoria on Monday evening, welcomed by all the family and settled in. Got fitted for tuxes the next day, did some shopping, went to the hotel and met our photographer (*phwoar!*) and generally did wedding stuff.

Met up with some of our London friends at an Irish bar (they are everywhere), talked about Canada - first time for many of them, drank and laughed. Thursday did the rehersal - and figured out what went where etc.

Friday - got married. Fantastic day, lovely speeches by everyone - and from all reports most people thought it was the best wedding they'd been to. I should hope so - us gay boys know how to put on a party. Of course, it would have been not so great if my parents had not helped organise so much of it. They even put on a big party on the Sunday at their home for everyone.

Tuesday, me and my new husband flew out to Las Vegas and stayed in the Luxor Hotel. Wow - what a place that is, both the hotel and the city. Truly a playground for grownups. Didn't win big, but had fun playing the slots, wandering around and being tourists. Even made it to the Liberace Museum! woohoo! It's a long bloody walk from the strip, that's for sure. We took the shuttle bus back.

Oh, and Jason from Krave was a rather lovely highlight. Shame the girl who spilled a drink on me never got around to sending me a picture of the two of us with him. She was so drunk she probably drank my business card with my email. It was the only time we didn't take the camera. Oh well....

Had a few days in Vancouver, met up with friends there then it was all over and back to London with a few more days off.

My parents visited in July for two weeks as they were coming for our post London party which was an enormous success - almost 100 people there with a drag queen for a bit of cabaret thrown in for fun. All our gay friends were most annoyed as they told us 'we'd set the bar rather high' and they'd have to try and outdo us. Even my best man, Jason told me he was not pleased as 'he's the one that throws great parties.' Trust me, that is quite a compliment coming from him.

So now it's summer....well, that what the calendar says, but for the most part the weather in London has been rather crap. We've had two nice warm weekends so far, but that's it. At least it was nothing but warm sunshine for Brighton Pride - all those disco bunnies got their disco tits out!

So, in a nutshell that's what I've been up to. The comment in the previous blog is from one of my favourite bloggers - he's dumping people off his blogroll that haven't been blogging for at least two months. So that's prompted me into action. Mind you, he took a break for more than two months...although he did announce it...whereas I've just mostly been lazy, and at times stuck for words - which really is not like me at all.

So must do better. We'll see. But Big Brother is on now, so must run.

Yes, I'm that sad.

Stags 'n Fags

The countdown to matrimony started last night. It was the stag party, rather, 'sten' party - a combination of 'stag' and 'hen', although there were no women at the event, there were lots of 'girls', 24 gay men and one straight guy thrown in for good measure. In addition, it was a party for both me and Scooter as we have so many friends in common, we didn't think it was fair to subject them to two expensive evenings, esp. since many of them will be flying to Canada for our wedding. As far as I know, only two people had to cancel, one as he had the flu, the other as he was too tired from working late the night before.

We started off at our local Soho pub, the Duke of Wellington aka 'The Welly' at 6pm. Jason, my best man, had an area upstairs reserved with lovely balloons and we arrived there just after six. We had a few pints whilst some of the guys arrived, lots of 'mwahs' and well wishes. We hopped into a cab about an hour later, not knowing our destination. All I knew was it involved bowling as someone spilled the beans a few days later.

We arrived at London's County Hall, just on the other side of the Thames to Big Ben. Inside is Namco Station, a huge arcade with bowling alleys, dodgem cars, video games and everything in between. We had an area roped off to eat and drink and exclusive use of six lanes for almost three hours. The lanes were 'short' and you didn't need proper bowling shoes, so it made for an interesting experience as several people found out when they fell flat on their faces forgetting they couldn't 'slide' on the lane. No serious harm done, although one person broke a nail! Shock horror!

I lost count of the number of games I played, but I think my best score was about 157, but towards the end, after several drinks, no one cared and was bowling between their legs, backwards and any other silly way they could play.

Jason had also arranged a huge bag of tokens so we could drive like maniacs on the dodgem cars. Apparently they are the fastest ones in Europe and I believe it! You really zoomed around, and of course, it make for some extremely violent collisions. We were all rather banged and bruised by the end of it, but it was great fun!

Just before we left, everyone gathered together and Jason presented us with a card signed by a number of the guys - they had al pooled their money together and bought a flat screen telly! A Sony Bravia one to be exact! (Had it delievered on the Tuesday - it's fantastic!). We were surprised and over the moon with such a lovely gift.

After that, about a dozen of us headed off to XXL to drink and dance the night away. Jason had got us on the guest list, so we didn't have to queue up, or pay. The management even had a really nice bottle of champagne on ice waiting for us.

Scooter and I finally left there around 3:30am, got a cab home and were in bed by 4:30. Sunday of course, was pretty much a total write off, but had a fantastic evening with a fantastic bunch of mates.

So, a HUGE thanks to my best man Jason for organising a great night for me and Scooter, and thanks to everyone who came along, namely: Jason, Paul B, David, Matthew, BHP, Garret (in absentia, but contributed to the telly), Nigel, Davey, Kevin, Keith, Gareth, Albert, Jez, Will, Shaun, Neil, Blake, Gavin, Jeffrey, Justin, and Ricky. You're all a great bunch of mates and we're glad you were able to take part in the fun!

Price Check on the Idiot on Till 3 Please

Some people really have no clue about technology. Even the most simple things confound them.

I was in my local branch of 'chav'DA yesterday evening after picking up my new gym membership card. I only had a few items in my basket so decided to use the self-checkout they recently introduced there. Now, I'm a veteran at these things - I use them whenever I can - at Tesco, Sainsbury etc. They save time, I don't have to talk to a surly checkout clerk who looks like they should still be in playschool and, I have to admit, it's kind of fun to play checkout girl for real.

But today, several people were obviously unclear on the concept. Honestly. Scan item, place in bag. Scan next item, place in bag. Lather, rinse, repeat. The computer even tells you what to do in a polite English accent.

That might be the problem. Maybe it should be a bit more forceful and say things like "point the barcode at the red-laser thingie you moron", in a really loud voice so everyone can hear you.

If you get it wrong three times, a siren should go off, and the screen should read "Sorry, it appears you are unable to correctly press a button in an elevator, let alone use our made-for-idiots software! Please jump under the nearest bus on your way out."

So after what seemed like an hour of rolling my eyes and 'tutting' under my breath (I'm so British now), it's my turn. I stroll confidently towards the checkout thinking, I'll show these technologically challenged people how it's done.

I scan my freshly made pizza - "Please scan your item BEOFRE you placed it in the bag". Ooops. Maybe I went too fast. I forgot the sort of clientelle they normally market towards in that shop. I scan it again and place it in the bag. Hurrah.

I scan in my Special K Red Berries. "Item not recognized". I try again. Same thing. Grrr. Luckily there's someone there running the whole thing and can bypass my till from hers. So she does....after every single item I scan. Of course, now I'm swearing under my breath, and then utter F*CK after the third time I try to swipe my Visa card.

What should have been a stress free checkout is now hell with everyone looking at me thinking I'm one of those people I mentioned earlier. But I'm in IT I think to myself...I know what to do - I could reprogramme these things to charge me a penny for everything I scan dammit.

I finally pay and get my receipt. I notice the self scan till two along from me is out of order. The screen is very clearly broken, and I don't mean a scratch or crack. The pattern of the breakage can only suggest someone got very fed up and slammed their tin of baked beans into it.

I know how they feel.