Saturday, May 13, 2006

When I Was A Child...

It's funny how little things cast your mind back to when you were a child - it could be a smell, or someone saying 'remember when', or seeing a clip on the telly of a show you've not seen since you were a child. Of course, now I'm an adult although I don't feel like a grown up all the time! I have caught myself saying 'now, when I was a child' to my mates children and then having echos bounce 'round my head of MY parents and grandparents saying the same to me.

So, with all that in mind...

When I was a child I was afraid of thunder and lightening. My grandfather told me it was giants bowling in the sky. I'm not frighted of it any more, but I still think of what he told me the moment I hear the first clap of thunder or a flash of lightening.

When I was a child I used to think little people lived inside radios playing instruments and that's where the music came from.

When I was a child I saw a huge spider crawling up my sister's beadspread while she was sleeping. I ran out to tell my mom and dad. They didn't believe me, well, until she woke up screaming! I still hate spiders to this day.

When I was a child, I actually had my mouth washed out with soap. It was the early 70s and the musical "Jesus Christ Superstar" was all the rage, especially the title song. I started singing the song, but would only say 'Jesus Christ' then wait until I was told off, then say 'superstar'. Of course, I thought I was being really clever by getting away with swearing, but of course by saying 'superstar' afterwards, that was my get-out, my 'nyah nyah' to my Mom and Dad that they couldn't tell me off. Well, was I ever wrong. My mom threatened to wash my mouth out with soap if I kept doing it. Of couse, I kept doing it and before I knew what was happening I had a mouth full of Ivory Soap. Yuk yuk and double yuk...but I had it coming.

When I was a child, I was obsessed with bowling and had all sorts of bowling themed knick knacks. The manager of my local five pin alley down the street gave me a bowling pin that wasn't being used anymore. I slept with it for a week as if it were a teddy bear.

When I was a child, I swallowed my grandfather's ring. He got it back, but only after 'nature took its course'.

When I was a child, apparently I used to love bananas. I don't remember that at all. I hate them now and will do anything to avoid the smell or taste.

When I was a child, I was always 'mishearing' lyrics in music. For years I would sing 'hot tea bo' whenever 'Rock The Boat' was playing.

When I was a child, my sister and I would try to fly by jumped off a chair and flapping our arms really quickly.

When I was a child, I would always turn to the toy section first of the Eaton's or Sear's catalogue. As the years went by, I'd turn to the men's underwear section first. Now, I turn to the home furnishings first, THEN the men's underwear!

When I was a child, my first 'crush' was on Scott Baio when he joined Happy Days as Chachi.

When I was a child, my favourite thing about visiting my paternal grandparents was a big thick slice of my grandmother's homemade bread and slapping on a pound of butter. The funny thing was that her husband owned a bakery for years, but she always made better bread than he did.

When I was a child, after being particularly annoying to my parents, they finally told me to 'go tell it to a tree'. So I went outside, crossed the street and did. It was actually a wooden telephone pole.

When I was a child, my sister and I had our own 'secret' language. "Womi omi bomi omi" we would say. We didn't even know what we were talking about.

When I was a child, I would sneak handfuls of chocolate chips and marshmallows from my mother's baking cupboards.

When I was a child, my sister and I would play for hours with her Barbies. Sometimes I was Ken, sometimes I was Barbie. I would always get Barbie and her girlfriends to bang their boobs together when they would meet. "Hi, Barbie" "Hi Cindy" "Let's bang our boobs together". "OK!" It would drive my sister mad.

When I was a child, my sister and I were having an arguement in the back seat of the car calling each other names. Flustered and obviously out of name-calling words, she said "well, you're a pig with no tail!". We both burst out laughing and that was the end of the arguement.

When I was a child, I would make ice cream sundaes the size of my head and eat every last bit.

When I was a child, I used to sit on my grandfather's knee and press different parts of his face and he'd make funny sounds.

When I was a child, I would switch on my grandparents outdoor Christmas lights during the day. The phone would ring at home later in the evening.

When I was a child, I mistook a carafe of red wine for grape juice, poured a glass and took a big gulp. I thought I was going to be sick and swore I would never drink alcohol ever again.

When I was a child, I would always ask "are we there yet" on long road trips. One day before my Dad started up the car, he turned around and told us he'd better not hear "are we there yet?" within the next two hours or there would be hell to pay. I asked that very question the moment we pulled out of the driveway. Luckily, he couldn't believe my boldness and saw the funny side of it.

When I was a child, I used to think that being 30 was really old.

I suppose this is a work in progress, but that's enough for now. Read into those statements what you will...some of them are just plain silly, but others are quite telling, aren't they?