Desperate Indeed

I'd like to bring to your attention a blogger called Desperate Danny who has a blog on this site.

For the second time in a week or so, he's thought it would be very nice to enter a comment into my blog simply to advertise HIS blog.

I've deleted it again, but since he's soooo desperate to advertise his blog, I'm posting it in MY blog. This way you'll all see how extremely well thought out and erudite his comment is.

I would urge you all to ignore his blog or report him for spaming my blog and no doubt countless others.

I hope he gets a big lump of coal for Christmas. Get a life Danny and get off my blog.
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hey there...Desperate Days is now bringing you sexy back into your lives...Feel free to check it out http://desperate-days.blogspot.com/and feel free to leave a sexy comment...If you want to be my one of my sexy affiliates, please, let me now...Enjoy, and believe the hype... sexy is back!...
Monday, December 11, 2006 2:57:13 AM

Get The Hell Out Of My Way!

There’s been a recent campaign from the mayor of London: 7 Million Londoners, 1 London. Nice thought, except that lately, it feels like six million, nine hundred and ninety nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine of them are in front of me!

Let me explain. I’m at the bus stop this morning and am the only one there. After a few minutes more people arrive and stand around looking into space. The bus pulls up at a random spot no where near the bus stop sign and everyone rushes to get on the bus. Um, hello? I was here first! Not that it seems to matter to any of them.

That’s six people in front of me. Then I try to get on the bus. There’s lots of space upstairs, but they just stand in the aisles making it hard to get on. The bus driver has apparently forgotten about the upstairs and just takes off. So I’m crammed on there and on the next stop two people get off who pushed their way on! Lazy bastards!

I squeeze my way off at the tube station. Three people in front of me at the ticket gate. Apparently, it comes as a complete surprise to one person that they need a ticket and start rummaging about their person for it. I count that person as doubly stupid, so that’s four people. One rude woman’s Oyster card doesn’t work at the gate beside me, so she backs up and pushes her way in front of me, not a word of apology. She’s a fat rude bitch, so I’ll count her as three. So now, that’s a total of 13 (are you counting?).

Now the fun of the tube. I stand aside when the doors open (like a good little commuter) and let the passengers off first. But before I can get on, let alone those still getting off, more people push their way on. That’s another 10 I reckon. Up to 23 now!

It’s the reverse next as I try to get off the train. Clearly the people waiting to get on don’t understand if you don’t let people off, you won’t be able to get on. I politely shout ‘get the hell of the way’ to a dozen brain-dead idiots. Thirty-five and counting.

I pop into Tesco Express to get some lunch. Its busy, so of course hardly any of the tills are open. I quickly deduce which line is likely to move the fastest and join the queue. A little old lady says “excuse me, I’ve only got one thing, do you mind if I go ahead”. That’s another one! “Of course not” I say, always being polite to little old ladies, but secretly think, well, soon it will be one LESS Londoner. I’m second from the front, then the spotty kid on the till says “I’m closing”. You’ve only bloody opened for god’s sake! I join another queue and mutter under my breath, “36, 37, 39, 40, 41”.

I’m already on edge, so decide what I need is a nice frothy cappuccino before I get to work. There’s a queue at Starbucks, but at least they have those little rope things. I take my place and plan my day in my mind. Great, I’m second from the front now…won’t be long. But wait, someone walks in, realises their work colleague is at the front of the line and says, oh, hey, can you get me three double half fat extra hot vanilla lattes for the girls? Bollocks! All I wanted was a regular cappuccino and now there are four overly complicated girly drinks in front of me. I’m up to 45 now.

I start to wonder if I should have ordered a decaffeinated drink by this time. I figure it should be smooth sailing now as I only have to walk five minutes to get to the office and no one can get in front of me now! I actually start to calm down a bit.

All it took to shatter that happy thought was two bendy busses. I would really like someone to explain to me why bus drivers drive over a sidewalk and stop when they know there’s no way they can get across? Those stop lines at the crosswalk are not there for artistic purposes for god’s sake you know. So now, I’m waiting to cross the street, there’s two bendy busses blocking my way across the road. They are so long, that I can’t see if its safe to cross by weaving in and out of the cars. Now I don’t blame the passengers for this, I blame the bus drivers. Still, I reckon there are at least 30 people on each bus, plus the cretin behind the wheel. So that’s 62 people in front of me. Oh, and add the previous 45 for a grand total 107. One hundred and seven goddamn people in my fucking way!

This year, I’m asking Santa for a cattle prod.

Getting your Wordsworth

Last Saturday Scooter and I held our annual end of summer party. This year however, we decided to have a slightly smaller affair as we'd been to so many parties over the summer (see the entry "Social Butterflies") we thought we'd scale things down somewhat. Also as the party was on Sep 30th, it fell inbetween Scooter's birthday (Sep 20), mine (Oct 6) and one of our best friend's, David (Sep 30), so we had a joint celebration - 106 Years of Gayness and invited about 30 or so people. Much food and booze was consumed and everyone had a good time - the last people left around 3am and we ended up having two guests overnight. There are some pictures here.

For the past few years, many of our guests have hung around the fridge/freezer - not because that's where the booze is (well, I'm sure that's part of the reason), but also due to the fact that our fridge is covered with little magnetic poetry words. I have several 'kits' from the orginal, to 'Love', 'Cooking' and 'Erotic'. As you can imagine there were some rather interesting poems stuck to our fridge by the end of the night. Some more rude than others, no doubt fueled by the booze.

So, I thought I'd share some of them with you. Only two or three are mine....I'll let you guess which ones those are. I have no idea who did the other ones, but I have a few ideas.

I don't think the Poet Laureate has anything to worry about.

-------
surrender winter breath
remember how you feel
listen to morning dream
warmly wander as the dark empty shadows light the sky

-------
he could only come when his glisteny thick pendulous cock was like an enormous knob ramming a swollen sweaty raw crack.

-------
torrent through nightly pleasure
breathless spring chill
never moan as dawn
always blow empty change
satisfy yourself inside every perfect thought

-------
my favourite pussy makes wind with dirty cock

-------
spread more jelly and shove long penis through bare butt

-------
some say beauty is a soft morning whisper
not all want life as this gold colour dance
off the wandering road

-------
always
dance
beneath
and
between
me

-------
flick her dripping clit then jiggle her tits
as you spank my delicious erotic bottom soon
heavy passion teases through our stunning orgasm

-------
celebrate green picnic the summer sound sleep

-------
crave
his
smell
plunge
deep
smear
between
gush
blow
want
need
tremble
shudder
scream
every
night

-------
how beauty can shine through every exquisite blooming child
yet speak gentle sweet music
less our frantic earth dance
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I wonder what creative phrases will appear next time? I can't wait to find out!

Sweet Sixteen

On August 8 1990 I arrived at Gatwick Airport on a one way flight from Victoria BC, Canada. It was the first time I'd left North Amercia and the first time I'd flown over the Atlantic. It was also the first time I'd ever been to England.

In those 16 years since, there's been a lot of 'firsts' for me. If I could go back and and meet myself at the airport and tell myself I was going to be living in the UK for so long I would have thought I was crazy. Well, I think anyone would go a bit crazy if they met their future self in the first place.

I honestly never thought I'd be here this long. Two years at the most, as long as my dad's posting was supposed to last. If the family had not moved out of the country, I would have probably moved out on my own at some point, but couldn't pass up the opportunity to live in the centre of London, practically for free for a couple of years and be a big stupid tourist!

Of course now, I'm the one that sneers at the 'big stupid tourists' - I'm an old hand at the city now, although every so often something still makes me say 'wow'.

It's been quite a journey from then to now. I was 22 when I landed, still a 'kid' really, and I hate to admit it, rather naive in many ways. Growing up in a town of 400,000 people, you just don't see and do the same things as in a city of over 7 million.

Luckily we're a close family and we did all sorts of things together in the two years they were here - we did something almost every weeekend because we knew that two years would zoom by before we knew it and wanted to take advantage of the situation while we could.

For me, the 'personal' journey started the night I said goodbye to my family at their hotel after a lovely dinner in Covent Garden. My sister gave me a beautiful card which still makes me teary every time I read it - it was really hard saying goodbye. I knew they supported my decision to stay - I had a decent job, found a flat, and knew if I didn't 'give it a go', I'd always wonder 'what if?'. So after lots of tears and hugs, I took a very lonely tube journey home, had a bit more of a cry and the next day threw myself into London life and haven't looked back.

OK, well, I guess I'm looking back now actually, but you know what I mean.

Back then I could barely do my own laundry, iron a shirt or cook a meal. Now, I think nothing of throwing multi-course dinner party for six friends and doing everything from scratch. Hell, I'll even make my own bread (without a bread machine I might add!) for nights like that.

Back then I could barely change a lightbulb. Now, I can strip a room back to basics, and give it back to you, fully decorated (although plastering and electrics are best left to the pros). I know the difference between eggshell, emulsion and gloss, and if that shade of white, is magnolia, cream, mist, "Dream Cloud" or "Misty Sentiment" (ok, I made those last two up, but I'd love to be a fly on the wall watching the Dulux paint namers!).

Back then I was appalled to see people go to the theater in jeans. Theatre for me was a very posh affair when I was growing up. Now, I'll go in shorts and a t-shirt, esp. in the summer - that's the way it should be, accessible for all. I've seen every 'big' show that's been staged in London since I arrived and loads of smaller ones. I'm a sucker for musicals.

Back then I wouldn't even entertain the thought of having an alcoholic drink during my lunch break at work. Now, I work at a place that has a bar in the basement that opens for two hours during lunch. Of course I don't go there every day for a liquid lunch, but have had some fantastic evenings there over the years with collegues and friends.

Back then, going to Vancouver was a big deal. Now, in the same amount of time, I can be in Paris, Dublin or practically anywhere else in Western Europe. I've been up the Eiffel Tower, swam in the Medditerean Sea, I've walked through the Hall of Mirrors in Versaille and stood at the alter in the church where The Sound of Music wedding scene was filmed, and seen loads more besides.

Back then, I never thought I'd own a house. Now I own two.

Back then I was terrified people would find out I was gay, I was only out to my two best friends. Now, I'm out to everyone and am proud to introduce 'Scooter' as my parter.

Back then I was a 'cheap date' in terms of alcohol tolerance. Now, three pints is a starter!

Ok, maybe that last point isn't exactly a positive point, but it is true.

Of course, there are some negatives to my time here - I do miss my family, sometimes more than others, especially around Christmas. The internet has finally come into my parents house, so we can chat and email and webcam, so that makes a big difference.

I've lost touch with a few friends in Canada, but know I can count on a few to just 'pick up where we left off' when I visit - or they visit me (which isn't enough!).

Three of my grandparents all passed away during my time in England (my paternal grandfather died in the early 80s). That was very hard to take as I was close to all of them. But I know that they were happy for me and the life I was building for myself in London.

Its also hard to not see my little neice, Hannah, growing up. She's four now and I'm a very proud uncle, and am pleased that my parents and sister ensure Hannah knows who Uncle Phil and Scooter are. I have tons of pictures, so that makes a big difference.

Overall though, I don't regret staying in London at all. Its been a fantastic journey of discovery for me, I've seen and done things I thought I'd never do. I have a great job, a fantastic circle of friends with whom I have so much fun, and then there's my man, Scooter - whom I love with all my heart and has made the last six years simply wonderful. So much so, we're getting married next May.

I'm certainly not the same person that got on that flight on August 8th 1990. Have I changed for the better? I'd like to think so.

Have I changed for good? Definately.

A Game For Thugs Played By Gentlemen

Yesterday Scooter and I were offered free tickets (thanks to our lovely friend Pip) to see one of the big sporting events in south London that kicks off the season.

It was a double header - four teams, two matches and over 51,000 people watching both matches. Supporters of different teams sitting next to each other, cheering on good plays and jeering bad ones, no matter which team was scoring.

Everyone in a good mood, laughing and very well behaved despite the huge amounts of alcohol comsumed.

This was The Wasps, The Harlequins, The London Irish, and The Saracens all playing at Twickenham.

This is RUGBY. This was a day where all the fans stayed for both games and enjoyed seeing professional teams play well, no matter what name was emblazoned on their shirts.

This is a game where the fans behave themselves, where opposing supporters are not ushered into seperate entrances in the stadium and do not run riot afterwards destroying anything and anyone in their path in an alcoholic rage afterwards.

This is a game where men knock seven shades of shit out of each other, and continue playing on. A slight knock or a gentle shove doesn't mean they tumble to the ground in agony, it's part of the game and they just get on with it.

This is a game where the players play for the love of the game and not for the paycheck at the end of the week.

I'm a recent convert to rugby. It all started with England winning the World Cup and "that" kick from the very lovely and sadly since, constantly injured, Jonny Wilkinson.

Its party what fueled Scooter and I to join as supporters to the the world's first openly gay rugby team, The Kings Cross Steelers. They've been going from strength to strength for over ten years.

Of course, it does help that the men in rugby are generally better looking too, hence the picture of the afermentioned Jonny, with Ben Cohen (on the right).

You may have been able to tell, in my not subtle way that I have somewhat of a distaste for football. I used to be really into football and still enjoy watching some of the bigger matches and did watch quite a bit of the recent world cup. I just think overall, rugby players and its fans are better behaved. I'm also somewhat disillusioned by the stupidly high salaries many of the players command, the constant changing of their kit design several times a year forcing their loyal fans to shell out their hard earned cash to 'keep up', and the fact that you take your life in your hands wearing your team's colours in the wrong part of town.

A collegue of mine summed it up quite nicely:

Football is a game for gentlemen played by thugs whereas Rugby is a game for thugs played by gentlemen.

I Just Wanna Dance

Whilst surfing about on one of my favourite sites, OutEverywhere, someone posted a link to a YouTube video. YouTube is just the coolest site at the moment. OK, for every brilliant video, there's ten crap ones and no doubt all the TV networks are pulling their hair out for all the copyright violations that are going on there, but someone has gone to a lot of trouble on this one.

The song is "I Just Wanna Dance" from Jerry Springer, The Opera. The song, a ballad in the show, has been given a disco remix and is permaently in my top ten of songs that make me smile. Its all I can do NOT to sing out when it starts on my mp3 player when I'm at the gym. Scooter and I have already decided its going to be played at our wedding reception.

Anyway, some clever person has taken clips from a bunch of dance scenes in famous films and added this song. I think its brilliant - you might too.

Enjoy!

Social Butterflies

I've had it. If I have to go to one more party for the next month I think I will go crazy. Not that I'm complaining mind you - its nice to be wanted, just not every frikkin' weekend. I must be showing my age. This has certainly been the most social summer I've had in many many years.

The first party was at Blake and Ed's. It was a blast - I think there were even some straight people there, well, two of them made it fairly obvious by snogging for what seemed like hours in the kitchen. Don't worry, you won't 'catch' the gay from us you know! Poor Scooter was a bit worse for wear the next day, but luckily we were able to stay over - we needed to be at the Steelers AGM for 3pm the next day. The biggest news is that Scooter is now the Treasurer of the club. Hurrah! I have to say he gave a very good off the cuff speech that he wasn't expecting to give. I'm know he'll do a very good job. More about B&E's party at Ed's blog here. I took the picture of Ed just before he went to pass out - rather fetching image don'tcha think?

The next weekend was the party at Alison and Izzy's home. Alison, also known in the blogging world as RetroGooseUK is the Press Officer of the Steelers, which is how we met. The party was their housewarming and they live right underneath our friends Neil and Shaun, so they were kind enough to remove a few fence panels to allow people to roam a bit more freely between their gardens. The highlight for me was the live performance given by the Dulwich Ukulele Band of which Izzy's brother is a member. The balmy summer evening and the tropical strumming made the whole evening rather magical and I could have sworn I heard waves lapping gently against the shore. Or it could have been the sound of tins of beer being swished around the ice buckets! Alison has written about the evening here.

Party number three was down in Brixton at our friends Paul and Justin's home. Blake was once again pressed into service at the bbq (as he was at his own party and Alison's) and cooked up a storm. Well, when you're from the southern states, bbq'ing is in your blood. Our usual gang was there and it continued into the wee hours. We took a night bus to Liverpool Street for the first time and was impressed just how quickly we got there...if only it was like that during the day!

The following weekend, wasn't a house party per se, more like a city party, that being Brighton Pride, which I've already mentioned in the post below.

Last but not least was the party at our friends Gordon and Malcom's. We've not long known them, but they are great fun and have a fabulous home and a garden that Scott and I would kill for - three levels and cleverly done to look like it was there for years, but only recently been landscaped. Must have cost a fortune, but certainly worth it! As we were in Surbiton, we had to leave the party a bit early to catch the last train back to London. We were staying at Blake and Ed's, so we went there freshened up then went out to XXL clubbing the night away. Finally got back to B&E's around 4am, had a very lazy day at theirs watching DVD's - we're converts to the Venture Brothers now! Also watched Finding Nemo and The Incredibles. By the time 11pm rolled around Blake said you may as well stay here again, so we did. It was a nice chill out to another busy weekend.

So that's it for the party front at the moment, except we still have to organise OURS, we usually do it in September, and yes, of course you're invited.

Bright 'n Beautiful

My favourite festival of the year is now but a memory. No, not Glyndebourne, or Glastonbury or other words beginning with 'g', I'm talking about Brighton Pride!

Now, I know a few blogs ago I blathered on about London's Pride event, but for me, I look forward to Brighton even more. Its such a fun day and the entire city gets behind the event. All the hotels and B&B's are fully booked and there's rainbow flags everywhere you look.

Scooter and I booked four days into the Holiday Inn, and I think there was a grand total of ten straight people in the whole place and that includes the staff! We got a great deal with their 'Family Rate'. Of course, I thought it meant we had to sing 'We Are Family', so I flounced into the lobby with my backing track, sang the song, and asked do I get the Family Rate? No, not really, but if I had, it would have been fabulous, and I'm certain the front of house manager knows ALL the words to THAT song, if you know what I mean.

We ate two nights at the hotel as it was included in the family rate....shame we left little Timmy and Olivia at home. Oh well. The meals were fantastic, so its a good thing the hotel was about a mile down the road from the main part of the town as we certainly needed to walk off dinner.

The parade was a 'Carry On' theme so cue lots of floats paying tribute to the Carry On films and to make it more authentic, one of the stars, Barbara Windsor was the parade 'Queen'!!

We spent the rest of the day in Preston Park, hung out with the Steelers for a bit, joined the Pride Society which was worth it just so we could use the private area and not queue for the loos. Its the best money we've ever spent not to have to line up for an hour whilst your bladder expands to the size of a football, only to step into a plastic 1x1 room that smells like the biggest sewage plant in the world on the hottest day in the world. You want to hold your nose, but then you're trying to balance yourself so you don't actually touch anything. It's not pretty. So, we were more than happy to spend many many pennies in order to 'spend a penny' in relative comfort.

The best bit of the day for me, and no doubt many others is the cabaret tent, which finished off with the D.E. Experience. She may dress and sound like Dame Edna Everidge, but that's where the similarity ends. D.E (aka, Jonathan) has the uncanny ability to sing like other singers - you close your eyes and you'd swear Celine Dion is in the room (and if she really was, I'd slap her), or Annie Lennox or Karen Carpenter. Thanks to this act, I can never hear 'Closest Thing to Crazy' by Katie Meulua in quite the same way, especially since D.E. has rewritten the lyrics with some of the most disgusting and offensive turns of phrases I have ever heard. I loved it!

We were so pooped by the end of the day, we stopped off at Grubbs ( a little post festival tradition for us ) for the best burgers in Brighton and sat in front of the church green, wolfed them down and watched the fireworks.

Sunday we left the hotel around 11, met our friend on the beach, then ran into our other friends and began drinking steadily for the rest of the day. Its simply what one does on the day after pride....all the bars have open areas and one of the streets is closed off to simply bounce from one bar to the next like some intoxicated glitter encrusted pinball.

We went back to the hotel for another 'free' dinner, then back out into town later that evening and had a few more with some more mates. They were all off clubbing, but we just couldn't be bothered, we're more pub and bar types than clubbing to four in the morning, although it has been known to happen now and again!

Had a bit of a lie in this morning, had breakfast then walked down to the pier for a bit, got caught in a rain storm and waited it out under the pier with a load of other people. We just sat and cuddled and had the odd drip land on us from above. We looked out at some young boys jumping off the pier into the water below and thinking they must be mad. The folly of youth as they say. I used to love swimming in the summer rain as a kid, but was never that keen on jumping into the water from fifty feet above!

The rain subsided and we thought it was time to head back. We collected our bags from the hotel, took the train back to London and arrived home around 3:30 in the afternoon.

Brighton is only an hour from London by train, but sometimes it's like another world down there...you're still in England, but just not as you know it. If I had the money, I'd quite like to live down there. I suppose, however, the novelty would wear off eventually, so for now I'll stay in London and be happy that I can really appreciate weekends like these for years to come.

Back Blogging Boogie Boy

OK, I'm doing a bit of back-blogging to catch up on events that I've been meaning to write about for a bit. I'm dating them in the order they happened, so rather than search for them, here's what I've done so far....

A Long And Proud Tradition

Everyone Wants To Be Gay

Touch me I'm Canadian

"!$%@% Blogger!!

Arrrgghh. I'm getting VERY fed up with Blogger. I can't seem to upload picture properly, or if I do, then try to add a second one, it replaces the first picture. Or it just fails to load at all. OK, it worked this time....but its very hit and miss. Mostly miss.

Blogger says 'oh, everything seems to be working just fine'.

Is it BOLLOCKS.

Found a very nice alternative blogging site, Wordpress - have created an account on there and am currently exploring if its for me or not. I think might be...thing is although it has lots of templates, I quite like this one I'm using at the moment on here. Its not easy being a 'cake and eat it' type person.

Watch this space.

Hot and Bothered

Oh my god. It is sooo frickin' hot in London right now and has been for the past few days. Oh, and its going to get worse. 33C today and 35C tomorrow. Makes tube travel such fun. NOT!

To make things worse, I keep seeing guys like this around the squares and walking the street.

Ok, maybe they are NOT quite as gigantic but where have they been all winter? Mind you, if he was that tall in real life, I wonder how big his...um, well, perhaps best not finish that sentence!

At least I can wear shorts in my non-aircontioned office. Got it in writing from my boss (using the "reverse discrimination angle") I've had a few comments from staff but I don't care. One from a very stupid woman yesterday who said "oh gee, how come you get to wear shorts", sounding most put out that I could. I said "look you stupid cow (well, actually I said her real name, but stupid cow is more apt), have you looked at what you're wearing today? You're in a short skirt and a sleeveless blouse. If you can get away with that, then surely I can get away with a pair of decent length shorts".

She was speechless....which was nice since she has the sort of voice that makes fingernails dragged down a chalkboard sound like chorus of angels.

I'm pouring myself a HUGE drink when I get home.

Summer of Booze

I am officially putting my liver into storage until the end of September. This summer has been and will continue to be my most 'social' in my already fabulous life so far.

I will try to do some 'back-blogging' on the specific events, but as I've not made an entry in awhile, nor have I put a new post on my blog (tee hee), I thought I'd just do a quick summary.

For me, the summer / silly season started with the aforementioned Tupperware party at Blake and Ed's. Its been all downhill since. Two weeks ago, on a warm and sunny Friday afternoon, my office and a number of organisations in London put on Canada Day In Trafalgar Square. Our office was stood down at 1:30pm to allow staff to attend. I seriously doubt however, that everyone who left, actually attended the event, but more fool them, it was a great afternoon and evening. There was street hockey, native dancing and musical acts from Canada. The whole square was buzzing, as was I, but that's more a result of the many tins of cider I consumed. The Tesco's across the street was very busy that day. Suffice to say, I fell asleep on the tube and woke up seven stops past home. Luckily it wasn't the last train, and was able to get home easily. I figure in my almost 16 years of living in London, that's the first time I've ever done that, so I'm now part of a club I guess.

The following day was Europride, which was also Canada Day, so met up with our mates, had a fry up in Soho, and watched the parade. Soho was so packed, Scooter and I just sat in Leicester Square and watched the cabaret on the stage.

On the Monday, some office mates and I did our annual Canada Day pub crawl and decended upon Hampstead. Another very hot day and in a break with tradition, we decided that everyone was allowed, indeed should take a break or two from the booze and have water and or soft drinks at some point. I'm so glad I did, as I was feeling ok the next day, although I did have the foresight to book that day off. A nice sauna / steam in the afternoon and I was feeling much better.

Last weekend was my friend Paul's 33 1/3rd birthday party and the theme was Jesus. Apparently JC was nailed to the cross at that age. Lots of good costumes, and a fantastic up and coming band, Paleday performed as well. It was also the sixth anniversary for me and my lovely Scooter!!

On Sunday night we had decided to stay in that week and give ourselves a rest. That lasted until Monday afternoon when our friends Blake and Ed said they'd like to take us to dinner at the Gaucho Grill to celebrate our anniversary. Having been there before, it was an offer we couldn't refuse. I challenge anyone to find a better steak in the heart of London. I had the 'meat sweats' that night, but it was worth it.

Friday was our annual dinner with our rugby club, The Kings Cross Steelers. Much food, much booze and much fun was had.

Last night Blake and Ed had their official housewarming party and much food, much booze and much fun was had. I think it ended about 3am or so, but as we'd already arranged to stay the night, I turned in about 2ish. Scooter has only just surfaced whilst I'm blogging on Blake's PC. He's feeling rather delicate this morning...I on the other hand am fine as I drank lots of water and soft drinks between my booze. I would do the "I told you so dance" to Scooter, but won't be so mean. hehe

So, here I sit in this fantastic flat, just in a pair of shorts, no doubt scaring the neighbours, (but its all council flats, so I'm sure they've seen worse in their own homes) thinking about just how to survive the rest of the summer. We have two more weekends of house parties, then four days in Brighton for the Pride festival there. I can't wait for that.

So, that's what I've been up to lately, I'm going to put the kettle on, make a cuppa and have a nice sit down and enjoy the view from the balcony.

** My friends Ash and Andrew are currently on a trip to the west of Coast of America and Canada. They are blogging their trip at http://brownyoung.blogspot.com

A Long And Proud Tradition

About 12 years ago, myself and a few office mates decided that we should celebrate our 'lieu' day for Canada Day by doing a proper pub crawl.

We had a few rules:
1. Be in a pub by 11am
2. Have one pint per pub.
3. No 'not' drinking booze
4. No girls
5. No spouses / girlfriends / boyfriends
6. Talk bollocks

We've been to Cambridge and Oxford a few times, twice to Canterbury, Brighton, and several areas in and around London such as the City, Hampstead, Notting Hill, Kensington, and Camden to name a few.

I've always looked forward to these days as its spend with good friends from the office and its a chance to let off steam, bitch about work and more often get let in on some good gossip. I just love a sentence that begins with "I really shouldn't be telling you this, but did you know...". The things I've learned about the office and people on days like this, well, I could write several books!

Over the years, the rules have become less rigid...we still aim to get into a pub by 11am, but sometimes its not always possible. Some don't open until 12 and more often than not, some of the group arrive late.

The next rule to fall was one pint in one pub. Sometimes, you find a lovely pub with big comfy chairs and sofas and you just cannot be bothered to move after one drink. So we have another one...or two.

Recently, we've let girls attend. Well, it is the new millenium isn't it? Besides, the girls we've had attend drink like guys, and swear like sailors, so we're not going to let the fact they have boobies, get in the way.

Last year, 'other halves' turned up. This year we all agreed at the start since it was going to be one of the hottest day of the year (during the heatwave), taking breaks and replacing a pint of beer/cider/bitter with water, soft drinks was ok.

So that's all the rules broken. So much for macho bravado of past years when we could get through a dozen pubs in an afternoon and still have room for more. I think we're just getting older and hopefully more wiser as the years ago by.

But we still have one rule left...talk bollocks! And by god, we are bloody good at that. Our conversations get more profound as the day goes by. More often than not, the conversations are repeated as we tend to forget what we've been talking about.

This year our group did Hampstead and visited many lovely pubs and a good time was had by all. Days like this are one of the reasons why I love living in London and long may the tradition continue!

Everyone Wants To Be Gay

July 1 2006 - It's Europride! Woo hoo! Half a million gays, lesbians, bisexuals, tranvestites, transgenders, transexuals, intersexeds, those who like the colour pinks, people who like musiclas, fans of Barbara Streisand, Liza Minelli and Judy Garland, people with gay friends, gay parents with gay children, straight people with gay pets and lots of bemused tourists all lined up along the length of Oxford and Regent Street, down Piccadilly, Haymarket and Whitehall to watch the Europride Parade.

For one day, London was the gay centre of Europe. Well, it is anyway, but we don't normally get to mince down the middle of the road in tight shorts and no shirt...unless you're in Soho of course.

And what fun it was too. Mother Nature was extremely good to us this year and provided lots of sunshine. Cue lots of shirtless men showing off their hard work at the gym all year. Cue even more shirtless men showing off their hard work in the pubs all year! Still, not everyone appreciates the rippling muscles of those gym bunnies...others like those built for comfort, not for speed.

But I digress. I was feeling somewhat delicate that morning. It could be something to do with the large amount of booze I consumed in Trafalgar Square the previous day, but I'm not really sure. Scooter and I met a group of friends for breakfast in Soho around 11am at Cafe Boheme. They do a nice fry up and those thoughtful people include black pudding too! Yum! Luckily Scooter hates the stuff, so I get to eat his too! Double yum!

I'm still feeling a bit woozy, so we head off to the pub for a pint before the parade starts. Good thing too - I felt soooo much better. A bit of the 'auld hair of the dog' does wonders.

We picked a nice shady spot on the curve of Regent Street. That lasted all of five minutes when we realised that we'd get a better view across the street. In full sun too. I didn't fancy spending all that time standing in the sun, but then, I thought, how selfish of me. By doing so, I would allow all those people to see ME much better than they would in the shade. I like to do my bit for the community you know.

And before you could say 'I don't think were in Kansas anymore Toto', the parade began.

Its truly amazing to see all the different community groups with a gay focus to them. Its also great to see organisations like the Metropolitain Police and the Royal Navy allowing their gay and lesbian members march as one in the parade in uniform. They got lots of cheers, as did the fireman, and of course we gave the Kings Cross Steelers a big one as well...and a cheer as well. Tee hee.

Saw some fantastic costumes, some great drag queens, some not so great ones, and some things that made you say 'what the fuck is that'? But hey, that's the whole point of the day, celebrating diversity and not being afraid to say, 'this is who I am' whether you like it or not, and I'm NOT going to hide it anymore!

And of course, MOST importantly, it's a chance to ogle hot men non-stop all day and not worry about getting caught because everyone else is doing it!

Now, if you're straight (or homosexually-challenged as I like to call it), you might think you're missing out on all the fun. Well, I got news for you. You ARE!

You've been watching Ellen, Will and Grace, The L Word, and Queer As Folk and they are having much more fun than than their 'hettie' friends. Well, maybe Ellen wasn't having that much fun but you know what I mean. Then Brokeback Mountain came along...jeez, even the cowboys in the fifties were getting it on. If only all cowboys looked like Jake! *swoon*

OK, so you don't have to be a big mincing queen or bolshy dyke to know how to have fun, but the thing is we do it with style, flair and panache (and other flouncing sounding French words). And at the end of the day, we don't have to grovel to our spouses, because chances are they are right there beside us having just as much fun rather than working late or tending the house (hey, that's what staff are for honey!).

There's been a noticable shift recently towards all things 'gay', even in the TV commercials - ever seen that Impulse ad where the guy ignores the nice smelling girl to go back to his boyfriend?

So, with all this in mind, I present to you, dearest reader a little ditty I composed recently. I have it in mind that Kylie or Madonna would be singing it at Wembly Stadium with about 50 scantily clad adonises as backing dancers.

EVERYONE WANTS TO BE GAY!

Is it me or am I a bore,
But is the world
A bit more queer
Than before?

There's more girls loving girls
And more boys loving boys,
Same sex weddings
And same sex joys.

Run out of the closet,
Be quick, don't delay,
Tell everyone, everywhere
"I want to be GAY!"

There's gays on the stage,
Armed Forces, more bent!
We're out on the commons,
Both Clapham, and parliament!

Coming out now?
Not such a stink
If that pound you spend
Happens to be pink.

Hallejuah! Hallejuah!
Oh Happy Day!
Everyone, Everywhere
Wants to be GAY!

There's gays on the telly
Will & Grace, Six Feet Under,
Brookie and Corrie,
Stealing straights' thunder!

There's gays in movies
Heath bends like a willow
Giving into his lust
While Jake bites the pillow.

Run out of the closet,
Be quick, don't delay,
Tell everyone, everywhere
"I want to be GAY!"

Hallejuah! Hallejuah!
Oh Happy Day!
Everyone, Everywhere
Wants to be GAY!

Touch me, I'm Canadian

On June 30 2006, The Canadian High Commission in London co-hosted Canada Day in Trafalgar Square. Now, anyone with even a smattering of Canadian knowlege will say, 'hold on, Canada Day is July 1!' Well, that's true. However, being such a lovely and accommodating country, we held it one day early as Europride was taking place on the first. Far be it from us to ask half a million poofs to re-arrange their diaries. I mean, the collective hissy fit thrown would have been as bad as if Ikea ran out of tea-lights on a weekend.

Anyway...I didn't care. I mean, I was going to both anyway. The fact that it was on a Friday meant most of the staff were able to attend from about 1:30pm, in other words, we got let out early. Bonus! Get out early on a Friday, it was payday, and we got to celebrate Canadian culture in the heart of London. Well, two out of three ain't bad is it?

Seriously, I did attend, and I certainly hope all those who left early attended as well, rather than going home early. It was a brilliant afternoon, lots of people in Trafalgar Square wearing red and white attire. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought the Roots warehouse had blown up. There was street hockey, native dancing, and traditional music, which sounded alot like it actually came from Ireland, but that's not so surprising given our country's immigration history.

Like every good Canadian on Canada Day, I, along with several good friends, drank rather alot. Well, its good to be patriotic isn't it?

So, for the benefit of you dear reader, I present a few facts about Canada to do my part in educating the world about the Great White North.

1. Canada is the second biggest country in the world, after Russia.
2. The official currency is the 'dollar'. All notes are issued by Canadian Tire.
3. You can marry a fag in Canada, but you can't smoke one.
4. The current government wants to stop you marrying them as well. Twats.
5. Poutine is our national dish.
6. Canada claims Celine Dion and Pamela Anderson as their own. They are really both cyborgs from the Andromeda galaxy.
7. Most of the world sees Canada as 'America Jr.' Most Canadians think of America as 'our retarded cousin'.
8. For every five Canadians, there is one Tim Horton's.
9. Tim Horton's is practically a religion in Canada.
10. The Commander of the Battlestar Galactica and Captain of the Enterprise (NCC-1701 for you geeks) are both Canadian. You may know them as Lorne Greene and William Shatner.
11. Lorne Michaels is also Canadian. He produces Saturday Night Live. Shame its crap now.
12. Only Canadians are allowed to be named 'Lorne'.
13. Out west, there is a place named 'Fanny Bay'.
14. Out east, there is a place named 'Dildo'.
15. As far as I'm concerned, Eastern Canada starts at the BC / Alberta border.
16. Not every Canadian says 'eh' at the end of a sentence. Sometimes we end a sentence with 'ass-face'.
17. The comedy troupe 'Kids in the Hall' are neither kids nor in the hall. We're clever like that.
18. You might think Canada is boring, but in America, there's a town called Boring. So there.
19. The Blackberry is a Canadian invention. I'd like to apologise to everyone on the planet for that.
20. The Canadian part of the Great Lakes (that's Erie, Creepy, Rikki, Inferior and Justintimber) actually tastes like maple syrup.

So there you have it, twenty interesting facts about Canada. I'll let you decide which ones are true.

Happy almost Canada Day!

Tripping The Light Fan-Plastic

Ever wondered what would happen if you got eight gay men in a room talking about plastic and what you can do with it?

OK, get your mind out of the gutter and try again. If you thought 'Tupperware Party' you'd be right! No really! My friend Jason organised a proper Tupperware Party for us on Saturday and was held at the lovely home Blake and Ed and our lovely TupperPerson was Andrew, one of only two men doing Tupperware parties and quelle surprise, they are both gay.

Jason put on quite a spread, and the food was good too! (That's quite enough - Ed.), and all with a 70's theme, right down to pina coladas and cheese and pineapple sticks. Once we'd tucked into some food and drink the demonstration began. Cue lots of 'oohs' and 'aahs' from the poofs. The items were certainly not your mother's tupperware, that's for sure, Tupperware have moved with the times, but luckily, many of the things there that day produced that satisfying "pffff" sound when burped, same goes for the Tupperware too. (That's your last warning... - Ed.)

By the end of the afternoon, over 700 quid had been spent and apparently one of Andrew's most successful days ever! On the high street or at home, a gay boy loves to shop! He even honoured us with an entry in his Tupperware Blog! See the June 4th entry.

No doubt the hot weather and the plentiful booze helped in our decisions. Our little group must of looked quite the site from the block of flats across the way. It was one of the hottest days of the late spring and most of us had our shirts off, drinking, swishing about and generally having a great time. Someone even got their harness out and a few people tried it on, but decency prevents me from saying more on that subject. (Phew! - Ed.)

We ended up sending some of the boys out for food, Balke fired up the BBQ, and we ate and drank more! We ended up at XXL clubbing the night away.

It was wonderful way to kick off the summer season and will remain one of my 'top days' for some time to come no doubt. Good friends, good food, and good Tupperware. - what more could a guy ask for?

When I Was A Child...

It's funny how little things cast your mind back to when you were a child - it could be a smell, or someone saying 'remember when', or seeing a clip on the telly of a show you've not seen since you were a child. Of course, now I'm an adult although I don't feel like a grown up all the time! I have caught myself saying 'now, when I was a child' to my mates children and then having echos bounce 'round my head of MY parents and grandparents saying the same to me.

So, with all that in mind...

When I was a child I was afraid of thunder and lightening. My grandfather told me it was giants bowling in the sky. I'm not frighted of it any more, but I still think of what he told me the moment I hear the first clap of thunder or a flash of lightening.

When I was a child I used to think little people lived inside radios playing instruments and that's where the music came from.

When I was a child I saw a huge spider crawling up my sister's beadspread while she was sleeping. I ran out to tell my mom and dad. They didn't believe me, well, until she woke up screaming! I still hate spiders to this day.

When I was a child, I actually had my mouth washed out with soap. It was the early 70s and the musical "Jesus Christ Superstar" was all the rage, especially the title song. I started singing the song, but would only say 'Jesus Christ' then wait until I was told off, then say 'superstar'. Of course, I thought I was being really clever by getting away with swearing, but of course by saying 'superstar' afterwards, that was my get-out, my 'nyah nyah' to my Mom and Dad that they couldn't tell me off. Well, was I ever wrong. My mom threatened to wash my mouth out with soap if I kept doing it. Of couse, I kept doing it and before I knew what was happening I had a mouth full of Ivory Soap. Yuk yuk and double yuk...but I had it coming.

When I was a child, I was obsessed with bowling and had all sorts of bowling themed knick knacks. The manager of my local five pin alley down the street gave me a bowling pin that wasn't being used anymore. I slept with it for a week as if it were a teddy bear.

When I was a child, I swallowed my grandfather's ring. He got it back, but only after 'nature took its course'.

When I was a child, apparently I used to love bananas. I don't remember that at all. I hate them now and will do anything to avoid the smell or taste.

When I was a child, I was always 'mishearing' lyrics in music. For years I would sing 'hot tea bo' whenever 'Rock The Boat' was playing.

When I was a child, my sister and I would try to fly by jumped off a chair and flapping our arms really quickly.

When I was a child, I would always turn to the toy section first of the Eaton's or Sear's catalogue. As the years went by, I'd turn to the men's underwear section first. Now, I turn to the home furnishings first, THEN the men's underwear!

When I was a child, my first 'crush' was on Scott Baio when he joined Happy Days as Chachi.

When I was a child, my favourite thing about visiting my paternal grandparents was a big thick slice of my grandmother's homemade bread and slapping on a pound of butter. The funny thing was that her husband owned a bakery for years, but she always made better bread than he did.

When I was a child, after being particularly annoying to my parents, they finally told me to 'go tell it to a tree'. So I went outside, crossed the street and did. It was actually a wooden telephone pole.

When I was a child, my sister and I had our own 'secret' language. "Womi omi bomi omi" we would say. We didn't even know what we were talking about.

When I was a child, I would sneak handfuls of chocolate chips and marshmallows from my mother's baking cupboards.

When I was a child, my sister and I would play for hours with her Barbies. Sometimes I was Ken, sometimes I was Barbie. I would always get Barbie and her girlfriends to bang their boobs together when they would meet. "Hi, Barbie" "Hi Cindy" "Let's bang our boobs together". "OK!" It would drive my sister mad.

When I was a child, my sister and I were having an arguement in the back seat of the car calling each other names. Flustered and obviously out of name-calling words, she said "well, you're a pig with no tail!". We both burst out laughing and that was the end of the arguement.

When I was a child, I would make ice cream sundaes the size of my head and eat every last bit.

When I was a child, I used to sit on my grandfather's knee and press different parts of his face and he'd make funny sounds.

When I was a child, I would switch on my grandparents outdoor Christmas lights during the day. The phone would ring at home later in the evening.

When I was a child, I mistook a carafe of red wine for grape juice, poured a glass and took a big gulp. I thought I was going to be sick and swore I would never drink alcohol ever again.

When I was a child, I would always ask "are we there yet" on long road trips. One day before my Dad started up the car, he turned around and told us he'd better not hear "are we there yet?" within the next two hours or there would be hell to pay. I asked that very question the moment we pulled out of the driveway. Luckily, he couldn't believe my boldness and saw the funny side of it.

When I was a child, I used to think that being 30 was really old.

I suppose this is a work in progress, but that's enough for now. Read into those statements what you will...some of them are just plain silly, but others are quite telling, aren't they?

Phil's Rules of The Tube

Here's a depressing thought: I reckon I make at least 400 trips a year on the London Underground. That takes into account the number of working days a year minus vacation days, public holidays etc. So 400 is probably a conservative estimate. Still, that’s 400 trips with the ‘great unwashed’ of London.

So, in my almost 16 years of living and working in London that adds up to 6400 trips. After all that, I’ve learned a few things about travelling on the underground and would like to share with you “Phil’s Handy Dandy Reference Guide for Travelling on the Tube During Rush Hour”. No doubt others will have written similar things, but I don’t care, I finally feel the need to get this off my chest – and hey, it’s been over two weeks since my last blog!

*Takes deep breath*

Entering the station: Have your ticket ready BEFORE you approach the automatic gates! You had to use a ticket last time right? Then don’t be so surprised when you find the gates won’t open when you get close. Get your fucking ticket out in advance so as not to piss off the rest of us behind you. Either that, or get out of the way before we push you. If you can’t remember where you put your ticket, then don’t even bother, just turn around and go home as you’re obviously not capable of remembering where you’re supposed to be going in the first place!

On the escalator: See those signs that read “Stand on the Right?” Well, they are NOT a suggestion. It means stand on the right, NOT stand on the left. Even if there were no signs, it should be bloody obvious to any person that everyone else is standing on the right and walking down the left. Just because you think you need to talk to your mate for the short ride doesn’t mean you can inconvenience the rest of us. Honestly, is what you really have to say that important that it can’t wait 30 seconds or so? If it is, either walk down the left, or don’t get on. If you continue to stand on the left like the big fat idiot that you are, I am going to push you down the escalator, and hurl your Primark bag down after you. Oh, and when you do get off, move away from the bottom – there’s people coming after you.

Walking in the tunnels: Don’t dawdle. People are trying to get places. It’s a tunnel, so don’t walk like you’re window shopping. Save that for above ground. Walk in a straight line and stay on the right! Oh, and follow the direction signs – don’t use a ‘shortcut’ during rush hour – you’ll find you’ll be the sole person going against the advancing throng and every single one of us will be giving you the evil eye. Those WAY OUT signs are positioned for crowd control in addition to getting your sorry ass out of the station, you stupid bastards!

Going down / up stairs: Go right – there’s that word again! I mean, there are signs and everything saying stay on the right. If you can’t read, you shouldn’t be on the train in the first place as you’ll never know where to get off.

Getting on the train: Let people off the train first god dammit! Funnily enough, if you stop the people from getting off the train, it means you won’t be able to get on. Those unclear on the concept will be politely told to move the fuck out of the way. If the train is packed, don’t assume there’s always room for you. Sometimes there isn’t, so you’ll just have to wait for the next train. Your ass is fatter than you think.

On the train (this is a big list so I’ve done it in point form):

If there’s a seat – take it. If not, move down the train. I’ll let you off if you’re only going one stop.

If you’re sitting down, sit up straight and keep your personal space personal.

If you’re standing then, hold on! It’s physically impossible to do the Times Crossword while standing on the tube, so don’t even try. You’ll just keep bumping into people. Besides, no one likes a smartass.

If seated and you’re reading a newspaper, don’t lean forward with your broadsheet and then given dirty looks when people brush by it.

For christ’s sake KEEP YOUR FEET IN! Don’t stick them out in the aisle! What is it with (mostly) women that they need to cross their legs have them sticking halfway into the aisle when its so busy? I just refuse to step over them now. My advice is to walk right through their legs – if you hit them, too fucking bad, serves them right for being so inconsiderate.

As for the guys – there must be a large amount of extremely well hung men out there as it is apparently impossible for them to keep their legs together. Why do they feel the need to sit down and spread their legs further out than a women giving birth? We all know you’ve just got a sock stuffed down there anyway.

If you get up and realise the seat is wet, then tell the person who’s about to take your place BEFORE they sit down.

If you’re standing in between the seats – the two on either side of you are YOURS NEXT! Unless you’re pregnant, elderly or disabled, don’t push through to get it, don’t sneak your way past the person people getting up to get that seat. Its just plain rude!

If you’re not well, don’t get on the train. Do you really want to pass out in front of all those people?

This is the 21st century; don’t assume that because you’re a woman you get the seat. Sorry, but chivalry and equal rights don’t always mix.

If you have to eat, be considerate and take away your rubbish. Do I come and dump a half eaten kebab in your living room? No, of course not! So don’t do it on the train. Don’t even think of bringing giant steaming coffees into a crowded train unless you want to inflict third degree burns on people and face a lawsuit.

Pay attention to where you are. Don’t suddenly think – am I there yet and realise, oh shit, I am, and barrel through the rest of us. You just look stupid…and that’s because you are.

Don’t play music through your mobile phone speaker – it sounds shit, most of the music people play in this way is shit anyway, and you just look like a sad twat.

Finally, turn your stereo DOWN – or at least invest in some decent noise-cancelling headphones so you don’t piss the rest of us off with your tinny cacophony!

Jumping in front of a moving train: Why? I’m honestly extremely sorry for anyone who feels they must end their life, not only will your suicide be difficult on your friends and family, especially given the way you’ve chosen to end your life, you’ll also inconvenience thousands of people on the train and serverly traumatise the entirely innocent driver who hits you. I think that last point is the worst. These guys have a stressful enough job without having to worry about people jumping in front of them.

Phew, I’m worn out….that’s quite a rant. Take heed and follow the rules please or you’ll have me to answer to!

There’s lots of things I’d miss about London if I ever moved back to Canada, but taking the tube is most definitely not one of them.

Something To Offend Everyone

Last night I was at my mates for dinner (he made meatloaf! yum!), and I finally saw "Jerry Springer - The Opera". I've been desperate to see it ever since it came to London. I never got around to seeing it on stage. When the BBC broadcast it last year (to much controversy), we recorded it on our Sky+ box. Well, the stupid box decided to die when we sat down to watch it (we're on box four now btw!).

So, third time lucky! And oh my god was it fantastic! Its certainly not for the timid or easily offended, that's for sure. If lines like "three nipple cousin fucker" make you cover your ears, then you certainly don't want to see this show (or maybe you should!). And that's a rather tame line to boot - it gets much much worse. I can see why so many people were up in arms about it, but hey, its just a show. Its not going to corrupt you and the whole thing makes fun of reality television and the people that go on it. Its a satire folks! I don't think I've laughed so hard and been so shocked, so many times over two hours, in my life.

Adult babies, Jesus saying he's a bit gay, the KKK doing a dance number, the list goes on, as does the swearing. No profanity is left untouched or left unsung. Eight thousand swear words, give or take, including 3,168 'f*cks' and 297 'c*nts'. Oh, and 15,000 complaints to the BBC and 4,500 to Ofcom. Most of those complaints were filed well before it was broadcast - no doubt hoping to get it banned from broadcast. For once, these high and mighty twats didn't get their way.

The songs are brilliant as well. My favourites were "This Is My Jerry Springer Moment " and "I Just Wanna (Fucking) Dance" - a lovely ballad, which has been turned into a fantasic club remix. Its on my workout playlist and every time it comes on, I just wanna shout out the lyrics!

Although I didn't see it on the BBC, the version I saw last night was the same and I'm so glad the BBC broadcast the show. For once, I was happy to pay my license fee.

Just Can't Get Enough

On Monday this week, Scooter and I went to see Depeche Mode at Wembley Arena. The band is one of his firm's clients and they got some free tickets, so we went with a few other staff from his office.

Now, I was never a big fan of them, but I figured, at least I can say I've seen them live. I remember when they first came out on the alternative music scene in Canada. I had several friends who were into them and that sort of music. I vividly recall in my tiny little mind seeing three of my friends sitting in the band room listening intently to "People Are People". I was thinking, gawd, its not like its Oscar Peterson or anything. I also remember thinking, gosh, I wish I was a bit cooler, like they are, oh, and how I wanted to badly to snog one of them** (if he reads this, he'll know who he is!) Such are the myriad of things that run through a teenager's angst ridden mind.

ANYWAY, I digress. We got to the arena, went "ooh, ahh" at the pretty new fountain outside with the lights and music, then went in. Took our seats and the opening act came on, The Bravery from New York. They were very good, but their music just wasn't for me, and I thought well, its all very loud and stuff. I wasn't sure how I'd enjoy the rest of the evening.

Depeche Mode came on to thunderous applause, I'm sure that 99.9% of the people there were die hard fans, so I felt rather out of place. The only DM song I knew was People are People.

You know what? I effing loved the show! The music was fantastic, the performaces were first rate and the lights etc. were excellent! AND I actually knew a few more songs than I thought...as soon as "Just Can't Get Enough" started, I turned to Scooter and said "oh, I didn't know that was their song"!! That song has been my theme for the week. I went to HMV the next day at lunch as they had a big sale on (as if I actually need an excuse to go in there) and they had a bunch of DM stuff on sale - so I got a double CD of their singles and another double of remixes.

Well, I've been listening to them non-bloody stop all week. Luckily my co-workers quite like them! Its been on my iRiver quite a bit too.

Its been quite some time since I've found a music group that I've taken an instant liking to, but they've got me hooked. It does make me wonder what other sort of music I may have missed out on during my youth when I was soooo into jazz and new age. Mind you, DM have been going for 25 years and are second only to the Rolling Stones in sales, so they've obviously got staying power.

So thanks Scooter for the tickets! DM have a new fan in me.

I'll be loading those tunes onto my wireless media player in the kitchen so I can play them over and over whilst I paint my kitchen ceiling.

Yes, life is THAT glamorous here at Philboze Towers.



**In case you're wondering, I finally did snog him, albeit 20 years later!

35 Landmarks, 10 Miles, 2 Sore Feet

My feet are yelling at me. Can you hear them?

Today at 11am Scooter and I met up with eight other people from our rugby club to do a walk around London seeing 35 landmarks from west to east covering a distance of at least ten miles.

The aim was to raise money for our club. Although we didn't raise a huge amount and the turnout from the players was pathetic, we all had a good time. I've never walked so far in one day in my life! I made sure I had a good pair of sneakers on, but I still have a blister or two.

Never mind - despite getting rained on a few times, and pelted with hail, we all made it one piece. Of course we stopped along the way in one or two pubs for a break, but it was pretty much non-stop all the way. We finished in Trafalgar Square about 6pm or so.

I'm really pleased with myself and everyone there for taking part. Ok, so Scooter and I didn't win the holiday draw (congrats Tim!), but we had the satisfaction of taking part....although the holiday would have been so much better!

Wanna see the pics? Then click here.

I'm having a Horlicks now and then going to bed for a well earned sleep!

On All Fours...

I got sent this by my friend Andrew in Paris awhile ago, but only just remembered, so as I've been 'tagged', here's my replies...I've added a couple more 'four's' as I was on a roll, no doubt I've broken all sorts of unwritten blog / meme rules...

Four places you have lived:

1. Victoria BC, Canada
2. West Hampstead, London England
3. Kensington, London England
4. Harley Street, London England
Now I live in Leytonstone - how the mightly have fallen! But hey, at least I own the place!!

Four TV shows you love to watch:
This changes all the time depending on what series are running, but currently:

1. Battlestar Galactica (the new series)
2. Desperate Housewives
3. The Sopranos
4. The Joy of Painting (no, really!)

Four movies I can watch over and over:

1. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
2. Star Trek 4: The Voyage Home
3. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
4. Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (quelle surprise!)

Four places you have been on vacation:

1. Austria (Vienna, Salzburg)
2. France (Calais, Paris, Nice)
3. Italy (Tuscay, Pisa, Florence)
4. Ireland (Dublin, many many times!)

Four places I'd like to visit:

1. Australia
2. New Zealand
3. Machu Pichu
4. Greece

Four websites I visit daily:

1. www.ctv.ca - for Canadian news
2. www.bbc.co.uk - for English news
3. www.scott-o-rama.com - a fave blog
4. www.outeverywhere.com - always on it

Four of my favorite foods:

1. Chocolate (its a food dammit!)
2. My mom's meatloaf
3. Steak
4. Pasta (especially with lots of parmesan!)

Four things I hate:

1. Bananas
2. Spiders
3. Inconsiderate people on the underground
4. People who play music on the speaker of the mobile.

Four jobs I've had:

1. Selling pottery at our neighbours home/shop across the street from my childhood home.
2. Sales clerk at Eaton's - Cameras and Computers Deptartment
3. Office Assistant - Student Loans, BC Government
4. IT Support - Canadian Government

Four jobs I'd like to have:

1. Radio DJ, morning or drive time show.
2. Pub Owner (think kid in a candy store!)
3. Falcon recruiter (if you don't know...)
4. Comedy writer

Four pieces of music that make me 'shiver'

1. Rhapsody in Blue - George Gershwin
2. Gymnopédies.No.1 - Eric Satie
3. Bolero - Maurice Ravel
4. Bring Him Home - from Les Miserables

Four places I would rather be right now:

1. At the lottery office picking up my check for 10 million pounds
2. Water boy for the Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue shoot
3. On a tropical island, on a lounger, B&C in one hand, G&T in the other!
4. On the QE2, on a lounger, B&C in one hand, G&T in the other!

"Blak" is the new black?

I've been considering starting a list of 'things I hate', and adding to it from time to time. I've not done it yet, however, I have discovered two things I hate this week.

1. Stripping wallpaper from the ceiling. Fairly self-explanatory I should think. Steamer burns, wallpaper sticky, scraper's wrist, arms wanting to fall off at the shoulders. I spent four hours doing the kitchen yesterday. It should be outlawed, period.

2. Coca-Cola "Blak". I tried this new drink in Paris last week with my friend Andrew. We saw a poster in one of the patisseries and thought we'd give it a try. Apparently its being launched in France first, then being rolled out to the rest of the world. Lucky France.

It came in a tin similar to Red Bull (picture on the right is the only one Google could find, it's what the US product looks like), so thought it must be an 'energy drink'. Well, yes and no. Its coffee-flavoured Coke. Yes, coffee. Or as the press release would have you believe "a blend of unique Coke refreshment with the true essence of coffee for a blah blah blah...".

It seems that the world's biggest beverage company isn't happy with having the biggest share of the carbonated beverage market, they are taking on the likes of Starbucks and energy drinks too.

Well, I have three words to describe the taste of their latest venture.

It is shit.

I used to be a Coke purist, but switched to Diet Coke years ago (not sure if the artificial sweetners do more damage than sugar...). Used to be Cherry Coke was the only other 'flavour'. Then came Lemon, Vanilla and Lime. Lemon tastes 'fake', Lime is ok, and Vanilla is actually pretty good, especially with a double shot of white rum.

But coffee flavour? Have they been sniffing glue or something? It smells rank, tastes horrible and leaves a disgusting aftertaste. Besides, doesn't Coke have enough caffeine in it without adding coffee?

Avoid it at all costs.

I Spring The Body Electric...

March 21 - The First Day of Spring. Is it bollocks!

Its been so freakin' cold in London lately - the only sign of spring I can see are a few daffodils poking up in the flower bed in the back of my garden. I swear my morning G&T got a thin layer of ice on it when I was looking at said daffs.

I certainly hope things change soon. I don't think the removable lining in my coat has been used so much this past winter. Here I am trying to lose weight and this stupid lining makes me look and feel like the Michelin man. But then I guess I was always meant to be built for comfort, not for speed!

Was in Paris last week, got back Sunday night so I'm currently 'back-blogging' to keep the date and context in order.

Did a few entries today whilst Mr.Sparky fiddled with my electrics. Gawd, there's so much to know about stuff like that. Especially when they tell you, oh, this swanky new light switch you paid the earth for, won't fit into your wall. Apparently they come in two depths - 16mm and 25mm. Who the bloody hell came up with that decision? A committee probably.

At least I was able to return the unused switches AND I still keep the loyalty points from the original purchase - so its not a total loss. That will teach Homebase to a: never have the right things in stock, and b: sell light bulbs brighter than most of their sales staff.

Oh, and don't even get me started on wattage and double dimmer switches. Its enough to make you want rip out your fuse box and dig out the candles.

Good thing I buy a big bag of tea lights on my weekly trip to Ikea.

Slobbing in Paris

Sunday. We got up quite late after much needed sleep. All this walking and fresh air is doing us in! We packed up our stuff and just relaxed in the flat for a while. It was nice to have a bit of a lazy day, esp. for me as I'd been there two days longer than Scooter.

The four of us wandered up to the Marais for late lunch at Pizza San Antonio. We had a bit of a wander around the area after that, not forgetting to visit a patisserie and pick up some vennoise chocolat to take home with us. Well, we needed some sort of souvenir and its better than a mini Effiel Tower!

Walked back to the flat, chatted for a bit, then said our goodbyes and headed off to Gare Du Nord to catch the 2042 train home. Well, it was meant to leave at that time, but due to problems on the track along the line we left almost an hour late. To make matters worse, we only got one bread roll with dinner and one bottle of wine. Honestly, standards are slipping!

Rolled into Waterloo not long before midnight. We were unsure if we'd make the last tube, so we treated ourselves to a cab home.

Scooter and I both decided that we'd love to go back there again in the near future. Andrew has an annual Disney pass that expires in April 2008. Although he's moving back to the UK in June/July, I'm sure we can convince him to use the pass at least one more time before it runs out! There's a new Buzz Lightyear attraction opening in Disney next month, so we have to see that, and of course, I have to make up for the forgotten Indianan Jones ride on Thursday.

All in all, a lovely trip which left us wanting to return again soon.

What IS He Thinking?

Saturday. Our plan was to visit the Musée d'Orsay, the other big art museum in Paris. Its collection starts where The Louvre finishes.

As per the previous morning, we went to Paul for breakfast, and in addition to what we had yesterday, we each got a lovely quiche lorraine as well. However, the "vache stupide" at the shop only gave us one vennoise chocolat. Quelle horreur! Oh well, we were halfway to the museum when we realised, so didn't bother going back.

We arrived at the museum to find a huge bloody queue outside and it was half as long again on the inside. Merde! It was such a cold and windy day we decided to give it a miss rather than stand outside for a couple of hours, but took some pictures of the statues outside. We found out later in the day we could have got a three day Paris Museum Pass that avoids all those queues. Zut alors! So that will be a must for our next visit.

So, we pulled out our guide book to see what else was in the area. Scott found the Rodin Museum not far away, were we would be able to see The Thinker and The Kiss along with lots of other of his works.

Well, I'm so glad we went there instead! The museum is set on the grounds of Rodin's home and there's a lovely garden with many of his sculptures dotted around the grounds. It is well worth a visit - the garden is an oasis of calm in such a bustling city and the sculptures are thoughtfully placed. Scooter went nuts with the camera and took some lovely, well composed pictures.

Of course, we saw The Thinker - or "Le Penseur" which is perched upon a plinth about 15 feet high. Deep in thought, probably thinking "how do I get down from here" or "I wish those pigeons would stop crapping on my head". It is the orginal as well, there have been many casts send around the world, but this is the real thing.

After seeing everything in the garden including the magnificent Gates of Hell, we had our lunch, then wandered inside the museum where there's even more scultures, and studies, including the Kiss, which is beautiful. Its not the first time I've seen it however, it paid a vist to the Tate Britain some years ago. There's a number of paintings in the museum as well including some Monets as well.

I cannot recommend a visit to this museum highly enough. Scooter has just told me that there's a major Rodin exhibition coming to London's Royal Academy of the Arts later this year! How annoying....but I suppose we had the better experience seeing them in Paris without the giant crowds that are sure to flock to London for this show.

Afterwards, we went back to the flat, met up with Andrew and the three of us went to the Moose Bar as Andrew was keen to sample his first poutine. So all three of us ordered one with a pint (well, a half litre - France is metric after all) to wash it all down. It was really good too and Andrew agreed.

We had forgotten the last few matches of the Six Nations Rugby was on, and the pub was packed. We couldn't really see the telly that well, so decided to try a couple of other English pubs, but they were all packed as well. Luckily Andrew knew of The Highlander - a Scottish themed pub a short walk away. So glad we went there, it wasn't too busy, so we put our butts on our stools and watched two matches with the customers there and proceeded to get rather tipsy in the process. The bartender was Irish and was wearing a kilt and face paint - was quite a laugh.

After the matches, we left, and went out for dinner with Ash. I wasn't too hungry to start as we'd eaten our poutine quite late in the day, but I was certainly hungry by the time mine and Scooter's food arrived - they had forgotten our order. So Ash and Andrew were finished by the time we got our dinner. The waiter however, was extremely apologetic and gave us all a free glass of wine, so at least that's something.

We treated them to dinner for putting us up, then went to the Marais for a few drinks.

The visit to the Rodin Museum will stay with me as one of my favourite days out for a very long time.

Yes, But Is It Art?

On Friday, Scooter and I paid a visit to The Louvre. We stopped in at Paul for a bit of breakfast - got a 'vennoise chocolat' - a kind of sweet half baguette studded with chocolate chips. Yum! Also got a ham and cheese baguette and a drink for lunch.

We took a leisurely walk, crossed over The Seine and arrived at the Louvre around noon. Luckily despite the hoards of tourists and screaming children (shouldn't they be in school?) it didn't take too long to queue up and get our tickets.

If I could say one bad thing about The Louvre, it would be: "It is too damn big". There's no way anyone could see everything on display in one day, not even if you were on rollerskates.

As I had been there about 13 years ago with my sister, I let Scott determine where we would go. I did make sure that we saw the three big things:

1. The Mona Lisa (which is lovely, although it is smaller than you'd think). Have a look at the link - on Wikipedia - loads of information on the painting, for example, its also known as "La Jaconde" which translates to "Lighthearted Woman".

2. Winged Victory of Samothrace which is just amazing and beautifully placed on the mezzanine of the Daru staircase. Its one of my favourite statues in the world. I will never forget seeing it 13 years ago and was just as awestuck today as then. Although the head and arms are missing (one hand is displayed near it), I think it gives the piece a more haunting feel.

3. The Venus De Milo which is probably one of the most famous statues in the world.

Of course we saw loads of other artwork as well. The Louvre doesn't just contain paintings either, but sculpture, carvings, and just about everything else you can think of.

The thing that strikes me about The Louvre is you could remove every single work and the building would still be worth a visit. Not least for the sheer size, but for the intricate architecture, from the modern glass pyramid at the main entrance to the stunning ceilings in many of the galleries. In many rooms, you'd think by the ceiling you were inside a cathedral.

So if you ever go in The Louvre, don't forget to look up each time you enter a room, you'll be glad you did!

After spending many hours inside we were worn out. All that culture was hurting our brains and it was getting to the point where we were saying "oh look, another painting of Christ, or look another painting of a naked women", so we took that as our cue to leave. I reckon we saw about one third, give or take, so that's pretty good. And of course it just means we have to visit Paris again - like you ever need an excuse to visit Paris!

We went back to Ash & Andrews and rested up for a bit as we were all going out to dinner at one of their favourite restaurants (and ours!), Fernand, just around the corner from their place. We went there last May so made sure we went again, esp. as it was much closer this time. Scooter and I both had fantastic steaks and mui-cui's for dessert - think of a half baked chocolate pudding, all gooey inside. Heaven I tell you.

We were suitably stuffed, Ash went home, and the three of us decided we needed a long walk to work off dinner. We headed into the Marais for a couple of drinks and then walked back home.

A lovely day.

Son Un Petit Monde Après Tous*

For a country that isn't terribly fond of America, it does seem rather strange to have the ultimate American attraction, Disneyland, on the outskirts of Paris. Not that I'm complaining you understand. I love theme parks. From the hokey little rides to the pee-in-your-pants rollercoasters.

So on Thursday, Andew and I took the RER out to Disney. Lucky for me he has an annual pass so I got a discounted price. Yay! Had a bit of lunch in an American style diner first as it was just after noon. Then went into Disney Studios first and learned about how some of the animation is done - the show was a bit 'naff', but at least the presenter was cute! Once our food had settled, we went on to the Rock 'n Rollercoaster. I love that one (was there in May last year too!). You go from zero to I dunno, million miles an hour, in just a few seconds - leaving your stomach (and perhaps its contents) far far behind. Its all in the cover of darkness, flashing lights, twists, turns, and ear splitting Aerosmith music.

We did it again an hour later once we could walk in a straight line again.

Headed over to Disneyland proper and did the main rides there, Star Tours (C3PO just doesn't sound the same talking French!), Space Moutain, Pirates of the Carribean, Thunder Mountain, Haunted House etc. and had a blast. It wasn't until we were on the train back that I realised we'd missed going on the Indiana Jones Coaster. Merde! Oh, and I also searched through almost every shop in Disney for an orange t-shirt for my little niece on the orders my mom - apparently my niece has a thing about orange. Whatever happend to pink for girls? I did find a kind of orange t-shirt - hopefully she won't notice.

We were back in Paris by 7pm or so and had dinner at the flat - Ash, his partner, joined us, and we played cards whilst waiting for my Scooter to arrive from London. Well, his train was due to arrive in Paris by 2o30 or so, but by 11pm, not heard a thing. He had been told to do the same as me and text me three stations before and I'd meet him there.

By the time I was getting really concerned, their doorbell went and it was Scooter! yay!

Turns out his phone, which has 'roaming' enabled, decided not to pick up on any French mobile network. So he was kind of stuck. Luckily he was able to figure out the map and ask directions in French and made it one piece. I was really proud of him! His mobile is on ORANGE by the way (bit of free bad pub. there for them!).

Played a bit of cards, then went out for a drink around midnight....decided we were bushed (well, I was tired, and that's all that matters!) and came back after just the one.

The Louvre beckoned the following day.

*Son Un Petit Monde Après Tous = Its A Small World After All

"Marys" getting merry in The Marais

Day Two: Got up a bit late but still before noon, so that's not bad! Woke Andrew, said, its 11am, he said "so much for breakfast!" I suggested pizza and wine in the Marais district.

So that's what we did. We got showered, made ourselves look fabulous (took all of five mins.) and walked towards the Marais. Crossed the Seine, passed Notre Dame (which has been cleaned on the front. It looks nice, but has lost the 'old' feel I think).

We sat down at Pizza San Antonio and immediately got a litre of house white. Pizzas arrived soon after and were consumed with gusto. Headed deep into the Marais, sat outside the Open Bar and waited for 'les beau mecs'. But after one glass of wine, there was zero 'bonbons des yeux' so we went to Cafe Okawa - a Quebec themed bar just down the road. Had a bottle of wine there, then met up with Andrew's friend Tim who'd just got back from New York.

We had several more drinks at Le Mixer, Tim left to sleep, and Andrew and I went for a bite to eat - had a lovely carbonnara with an egg on top. Yum!

It gets a bit fuzzy after that I must admit. I know that we ended up at Le Depot until about midnight / 1am, then went home to sleep and recharge for the following day.