On June 30 2006, The Canadian High Commission in London co-hosted Canada Day in Trafalgar Square. Now, anyone with even a smattering of Canadian knowlege will say, 'hold on, Canada Day is July 1!' Well, that's true. However, being such a lovely and accommodating country, we held it one day early as Europride was taking place on the first. Far be it from us to ask half a million poofs to re-arrange their diaries. I mean, the collective hissy fit thrown would have been as bad as if Ikea ran out of tea-lights on a weekend.
Anyway...I didn't care. I mean, I was going to both anyway. The fact that it was on a Friday meant most of the staff were able to attend from about 1:30pm, in other words, we got let out early. Bonus! Get out early on a Friday, it was payday, and we got to celebrate Canadian culture in the heart of London. Well, two out of three ain't bad is it?
Seriously, I did attend, and I certainly hope all those who left early attended as well, rather than going home early. It was a brilliant afternoon, lots of people in Trafalgar Square wearing red and white attire. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought the Roots warehouse had blown up. There was street hockey, native dancing, and traditional music, which sounded alot like it actually came from Ireland, but that's not so surprising given our country's immigration history.
Like every good Canadian on Canada Day, I, along with several good friends, drank rather alot. Well, its good to be patriotic isn't it?
So, for the benefit of you dear reader, I present a few facts about Canada to do my part in educating the world about the Great White North.
1. Canada is the second biggest country in the world, after Russia.
2. The official currency is the 'dollar'. All notes are issued by Canadian Tire.
3. You can marry a fag in Canada, but you can't smoke one.
4. The current government wants to stop you marrying them as well. Twats.
5. Poutine is our national dish.
6. Canada claims Celine Dion and Pamela Anderson as their own. They are really both cyborgs from the Andromeda galaxy.
7. Most of the world sees Canada as 'America Jr.' Most Canadians think of America as 'our retarded cousin'.
8. For every five Canadians, there is one Tim Horton's.
9. Tim Horton's is practically a religion in Canada.
10. The Commander of the Battlestar Galactica and Captain of the Enterprise (NCC-1701 for you geeks) are both Canadian. You may know them as Lorne Greene and William Shatner.
11. Lorne Michaels is also Canadian. He produces Saturday Night Live. Shame its crap now.
12. Only Canadians are allowed to be named 'Lorne'.
13. Out west, there is a place named 'Fanny Bay'.
14. Out east, there is a place named 'Dildo'.
15. As far as I'm concerned, Eastern Canada starts at the BC / Alberta border.
16. Not every Canadian says 'eh' at the end of a sentence. Sometimes we end a sentence with 'ass-face'.
17. The comedy troupe 'Kids in the Hall' are neither kids nor in the hall. We're clever like that.
18. You might think Canada is boring, but in America, there's a town called Boring. So there.
19. The Blackberry is a Canadian invention. I'd like to apologise to everyone on the planet for that.
20. The Canadian part of the Great Lakes (that's Erie, Creepy, Rikki, Inferior and Justintimber) actually tastes like maple syrup.
So there you have it, twenty interesting facts about Canada. I'll let you decide which ones are true.
Happy almost Canada Day!
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